User:NinjaWeeb: Difference between revisions
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=== Terms of Service === | |||
Here is the TOS for purchasing my super-fire mixtape. | |||
=====§1 Definitions===== | |||
He is Yu, and I am me. And you are you. | |||
=====§2 Ownership===== | |||
When you "purchase" my mixtape (which is pretty fire), you are actually licensing it, you don't own it. Your access can be revoked at any time, for any reason (like if i feel like it). I will send an agent to personally purloin the mixtape from you, to enforce this action. You will own nothing, and be happy. | |||
=====§3 Privacy Policy===== | |||
We will store your personal data unencrypted on our database. Also, because Jimmy keeps forgetting the db access password, I will write it here once and only once. It's password123. We'll probably also sell it to McDonalds, Jeff Bezos and all your favourite dictators. Also, AI (helps gets the investors on board) | |||
If you're mad about that, contact us as instructed in §5 | |||
=====§4 Forced Arbitration===== | |||
If you agree to my TOS, you can't sue me. Instead, my buddy John from the diner will moderate and arbitrate any of that trash you have against me. | |||
=====§5 Cancellations===== | |||
If you want to cancel your subscription, you may do so at any time. Just send me a certified letter with a 2 inch stamp, a 4:3 width:length ratio, on gold leaf paper, tagged with antimatter europium security strips, and also a cobalt blue tint because it looks pretty. | |||
Or you can send an email, about how you are so desperate for your money, which we may or may not read within 90 business days (or at all). Actually, probably not, but hey, one can dream. | |||
[[File:Copyright symbol.png|thumb|<nowiki>I'll DMCA anyone who mutters my mixtape in public >:]</nowiki>]] | |||
=====§6 Copyrights===== | |||
Whats mine is mine, and whats yours is also mine. | |||
=====§7 Changes to the TOS===== | |||
This terms of service might change. We'll make it as predictably random so you'll have plenty of time to enjoy the higher prices until you head to the hardware store to buy that cobalt blue to send that certified mail. | |||
=====§8 Juristriction (or however the heck you spell it)===== | |||
This TOS is valid in all countries including the American States, Canada, that one country where they make everything, as well as the fake countries like Finland and Australia. It is also valid in Outer Space, the Moon, that planet where Spock lives and the Death Star. | |||
Latest revision as of 00:53, 20 June 2025
Terms of Service[edit | edit source]
Here is the TOS for purchasing my super-fire mixtape.
§1 Definitions[edit | edit source]
He is Yu, and I am me. And you are you.
§2 Ownership[edit | edit source]
When you "purchase" my mixtape (which is pretty fire), you are actually licensing it, you don't own it. Your access can be revoked at any time, for any reason (like if i feel like it). I will send an agent to personally purloin the mixtape from you, to enforce this action. You will own nothing, and be happy.
§3 Privacy Policy[edit | edit source]
We will store your personal data unencrypted on our database. Also, because Jimmy keeps forgetting the db access password, I will write it here once and only once. It's password123. We'll probably also sell it to McDonalds, Jeff Bezos and all your favourite dictators. Also, AI (helps gets the investors on board)
If you're mad about that, contact us as instructed in §5
§4 Forced Arbitration[edit | edit source]
If you agree to my TOS, you can't sue me. Instead, my buddy John from the diner will moderate and arbitrate any of that trash you have against me.
§5 Cancellations[edit | edit source]
If you want to cancel your subscription, you may do so at any time. Just send me a certified letter with a 2 inch stamp, a 4:3 width:length ratio, on gold leaf paper, tagged with antimatter europium security strips, and also a cobalt blue tint because it looks pretty.
Or you can send an email, about how you are so desperate for your money, which we may or may not read within 90 business days (or at all). Actually, probably not, but hey, one can dream.
§6 Copyrights[edit | edit source]
Whats mine is mine, and whats yours is also mine.
§7 Changes to the TOS[edit | edit source]
This terms of service might change. We'll make it as predictably random so you'll have plenty of time to enjoy the higher prices until you head to the hardware store to buy that cobalt blue to send that certified mail.
§8 Juristriction (or however the heck you spell it)[edit | edit source]
This TOS is valid in all countries including the American States, Canada, that one country where they make everything, as well as the fake countries like Finland and Australia. It is also valid in Outer Space, the Moon, that planet where Spock lives and the Death Star.