If_Google_were_honest_-_Android_developer_verification.png (1,395 × 1,428 pixels, file size: 410 KB, MIME type: image/png)

Summary

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Parody of this corporate propaganda page. Android's founding principles: https://archive.today:443/2012.12.04-171030/http://source.android.com/about/philosophy.html

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Abandoning Android's founding principles by closing and gatekeeping it.

By gatekeeping Android, we're closing the low barrier of entry that allowed developers to create and connect for many years while maintaining their privacy. Android's new developer verification is the fundamental (not just a trivial "extra") layer of corporate gatekeeping that violates your ownership "protects you" in the same way disconnecting your Internet "protects you", and blocks you "protects you" from running apps we dislike (such as TubeMate) on your property that you paid for.

Starting in September 2026, Android will require all apps to be registered by developers who have doxxed themselves to your technofascist corporate overlords at Google, and require their approval in order to be installable on almost every Android device sold. It's just like airport security, bro! Just embrace it. Believe us, it's for your best. Oh, by the way, Android smartphone vendors who do not comply can kiss Google services good-bye.

What, you thought we actually care about your privacy like we so often preach? Get outta here! We want one-way surveillance and control!

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Date/TimeThumbnailDimensionsUserComment
current21:39, 14 January 2026Thumbnail for version as of 21:39, 14 January 20261,395 × 1,428 (410 KB)JodyBruchonFan (talk | contribs)Parody of [https://developer.android.com/developer-verification this corporate propaganda page]. Android's founding principles: https://archive.today:443/2012.12.04-171030/http://source.android.com/about/philosophy.html

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